Dear Religious Establishment,
I didn’t realise when I joined you
that I actually walked through a Bad Gateway.
My Search Engine was faulty
and did not provide me with enough choices.
When I joined you,
my Home Page was fairly blank,
and my IP Number was in tact.
But over the three years I was with you,
you ate all my Cookies.
I wouldn’t have minded,
but our POP was sweet and intimate,
so I got hurt –
I didn’t realise that your Plug-in
would have that effect on me.
So I had to leave you prematurely,
and I left with a Virus. I was sick.
For a long time.
It was a Virus
which lasted fifteen years after I left you.
Your Domain Name was exclusive,
and I truly felt I belonged to something special.
Thankfully I have discovered,
the Wi-Fi of Freedom
and how to De-frag the fragments of your faulty theology
and weird practices.
And now I am so pleased that your Upload was faulty,
and that my Spyware finally detected your Spam.